I can't stay on your morphine, 'cause its making me itch
I said I tried to call the nurse again but she's being a little bitch
I think I'll get outta here, where I can
Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
'Stead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me ill
You keep makin' me ill - Pink
I started my second cycle of chemotherapy yesterday. While I am glad there is something that can be done to treat my cancer, its hard to believe that something that can treat you, can also make you sick.
This is a Peripherally Inserted Central (PICC) catheter. A PICC line is a flexible tube that has been inserted into a vein in my arm. The catheter is threaded along the vein and rests in the major vessel just outside the heart. This line allows for repeated doses of drug treatment without having people continuously jab me with needles. THUMBS UP!! So this is how my chemo is administered every fortnight.
I cant feel the line at all but I know it's there and I do have to be careful with it. No getting it wet, no strenuous activity (gets me out of doing housework, again THUMBS UP), the dressing has to be changed every week and keeping it clean is the most important thing. Showering can be a pain, same with swimming but at least I'm not getting stabbed with needles all the time. Its the small things people!
My chemo day starts off with making sure the line isn't blocked, changing the dressing and a lovely mix of anti-nausea medications and lorazepam to help with anxiety and to make me sleepy. Finally they hook me up to all the chemo medication.
The first lot of chemo are the bags on the outside, Oxaliplatin (in the black bag) and Folinic Acid. These are administered over two hours and are then flushed through my system using Glucose. The Oxaliplatin works by interfering with cell growth and reproduction, eventually destroying the cancer cells while the Folinic Acid increases the anti-cancer effects of the other chemo medications.
"I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD". Next is an iron infusion. Apparently my iron levels are extremely low, so for the next few chemo cycles I have to have iron infusions to bring my levels back up. The iron is administered over 30 minutes and again is flushed through with Glucose. Its crazy how much energy you end up with when your iron levels are starting to normalise!
My chemo day finishes with these two lovely things known as Fluorouracil or 5-FU. 5-FU is given as an injection into the vein and then I am hooked up to a pump which works by allowing a small amount of 5-FU an hour to be released from the pump and continuously infuses over 46 hours. I have to carry this pump with me everywhere, usually in my pocket, until it is removed after the infusion period.
"You will experience some side effects with this chemo".
NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!! I'm so grateful that my cancer is being treated but the side effects of chemo almost make you question whether it is worth it. I'm lucky that this chemo will only thin my hair out and not completely loose it. However, the other side effects are really kicking my ass. There's the nausea and projectile vomiting. I do have anti-nausea meds to help with this but it doesn't entirely prevent it. Next is the taste and appetite changes. Some foods just don't taste the same or can taste like metal. The chemo also messes with my appetite, making me not wanting to eat or feeling like I can't eat. This usually comes back right before I start my next cycle of chemo - YAY ME. Next is the fatigue. For me, it lasts throughout the entire course of treatment. I might be lucky to get a few days of reprieve but I'm tired all the time and usually need an afternoon nap. Its like being a toddler again. Now here are my favourites - the constipation and diarrhoea. The constipation starts the day after chemo and can last a couple of days, then the diarrhoea kicks in for a couple of days. Again it usually corrects right before I start the next cycle of chemo. The strangest side effect is the pain I get in my fingers, feet and throat triggered by cold temperatures. If I have ice cream it feels as if there is something sharp going down my throat and if I try to take something out of the freezer, it can cause pain in my finger tips. Its extremely odd and quite annoying - I love ice cream...
The side effect I am really struggling with is the decreased immune system. Mum has taken to disinfecting everything, its quite cute. But it still hasn't stopped me from getting a cold. Someone can have the smallest cough or runny nose but when I get it, I end up with a full blown cold. Sore throat, runny nose, chesty cough, headaches, ear aches, body aches and a cold sore. I am also at a higher risk of infection so I have to be extra careful. Moral of the story, even if your only slightly sick - please do not visit anyone going through chemo. Save them from experiencing at least one pain in the ass side effect!
I know I shouldn't complain, because I know I'm getting the treatment that I need. But its kind of hard to be grateful when you feel like absolute crap every minute of every day. When receiving chemo, you do expect to experience some side effects - chemo and side effects come hand in hand. But it makes it hard to keep going when you experience every side effect under the sun. You would think that with all the advances in medicine that they could eliminate some of these side effects. It just blows my mind that a treatment that is supposed to destroy cancer can actually make you feel worse than the cancer does.
Its supposed to make me feel better but it keeps making me feel ill.
