You've Got A Friend in Me

"You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me

You got troubles, I've got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together and see it through
Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me" - from Toy Story

When you receive bad news and all you can do is sit there and watch your life fall apart, its your friends that tend to pull you back and help put the pieces of your life back together. 

"I'm here for you 100% for anything and everything"

In the first few days after my cancer diagnosis, I was so lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends who kept me smiling, laughing, came to appointments, got me drunk, brought me presents, checked in on me every day and even fed me and my mum. It was in those first few days that I realised just how lucky I am to have such amazing friends.

When it came to making the decision to move home for treatment, the one thing that was holding me to Wellington was the people I would be leaving behind. I was worried that I wouldn't have the same support or network of people in Paeroa. I was so wrong about that. Friends that I had lost contact with or just had not spoken to in a while got in touch and reminded me that no matter where I am, I still have amazing people around me. I ran into an old friend the other day and on this day I was feeling pretty crappy and not myself. Rather than tip toeing around me, she just launched herself at me and hugged me. It was the smallest thing, but she completely made my day and made me feel a million times better. It made me realise that although I may have lost contact with old friends, they are still there for me as if time hasn't passed. When you've been friends for a long time, time or lack of contact doesn't change a thing.

I must admit, as grateful as I was for having these amazing friends, I was also feeling pretty bitter and angry about the situation. I have friends who have brought houses, gotten engaged/married, gotten new jobs, having babies or are just generally living their best lives, and I'm over here with cancer. I felt as if their lives had really begun and mine was coming to a massive halt. Seeing my friends living their best lives made me angry and bitter because it made me question whether I am going to live long enough for these things to happen to me or whether I will ever get to experience the joy and happiness that they are experiencing... 

But then I remembered the happiness I felt when I was asked to be a bridesmaid, or the excitement I felt when I got a Snapchat of a resignation letter, or the embarrassment of a messy Saturday night story and I realised that I'm living through these experiences with my friends and I get to feel the same things they do. So although it may not be happening to me, I still get to be part of the experience and that's enough for me.

These last few weeks I've been reminded that I'm not facing my cancer alone and there are people who are sticking by me and would do anything for me. I've got a friend in so many people and although I don't see them everyday, I know they are there and I want them to feel the same. 

To my amazing friends, You've Got a Friend in Me!